HUGE NEWS

Four cheerleaders are dead, yes very sad for them but not the point. The point is why do you care more then 4 Goth kids offing themselves. Well most likely because you don’t get off to the Goth kids and the Goth kids aren’t as pretty so let’s not show a picture of them.

OK sorry for that lets go onto a more serious subject. Earlier tonight some jackass decided to drive through my family’s property for the second time. Do I know these people? No. so what to do? I decided on the simple approach grabbed some hobos off the street gave them some automatic weapons and shot the hell out of the car the bastards drove onto my property.


Now you must excuse me I have to make arrangements for my uncles funeral……………………my bad.

Well I am just dumb

Kidding I am just crazy today I had a ton of energy so I took out my bike and went for a nice ride it was only about 4 miles all together if that so it wasn’t to bad. But the hard part was the fact I was in a t-shirt and shorts and it was slightly below 40 degrees out so by the time I got to my turn around point my body was completely numb and my lungs were on fire. So Yea smart move there I know.



The voices told me to tell this upcoming story I don’t want to but not my choice. Back when I was little had to be like 10 or something I walked up to this twirly and this kid picked up a huge pile of dirt and threw it in my face. What did I do? Well I ran to my mommy, I am ashamed if I could do it over I would have walked up to that kid kicked him in the balls and when he was on the ground kick him in the face a dozen times so yeah there is one of the many things I would do over in my life.


Me and the voices have some unfinished business.

Road Rage Can be fun

How can I say such a thing? Well it’s easy you combine letters and they make words HA! Okay not really funny but who cares. Want to know how to have fun with road rage?


Well it’s never fun if you have it but it can be fun on other people.


Here’s the story I was going to my doctor and I was going the speed limit 45 right on the dot and the dude behind me was right on my ass I mean just a couple feet away and I can see him and can tell he is in a hurry because he was really jittery and bouncing up and down. Ok he was either in a hurry or really had to pee. Anyway he was pissing me off so what you do to make him really mad is when a car is coming from the opposite direction you slow done to about 10 MPH under the speed limit, just as the car passes you speed up so the guy behind you cant pass. You just keep doing that over and over again and I swear that guy went in the other lane 5 times in an attempt to pass me but I was going to fast so HA!


How to solve this riding your bumper problem well the voice and their infinite wisdom found a way. On the back of your car you tie a midget to you bumper and give him a machine gun to do with as he pleases.


May we all employ the midget people.

QUIET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am so sick of motorcycles that sound like a freaking space shuttle launching. I will be sitting in my living watching TV then BAM! 15 motorcycles drive by and I miss what the hell is going on. Honestly them interrupting my shows isn’t that big of a deal because I can just pause the TV or rewind.


What really bothers me is when they go by in the early morning like 4, 5 o’clock. That’s what I want being wok up 3 hours early by freaking motorcycles. AHHHH!!!!! Every time they drive by my house I just want to grab my shotgun and blow out their engine I would love to hear them make noise after that.







But I know that would be to harsh so me and the voice came up with a great idea, every night for the past 5 weeks we have been staying up and anytime a loud ass motorcycle is coming we throw a giant stick into the middle of the road and bam instant death. Sounds harsh? I think not what’s harsh is them waking everyone up. Good news for the last week we haven’t seen any motorcycles so I think my plan is working.




We are going to get some much needed sleep.

Can i have it please?

This guy is the definition of an insane mind. Why? You might ask. Well maybe its because of the fact this dude broke his finger and instead of trying to get it repaired with surgery he just said “Chop it off im not going to stop playing” (that’s not a direct quote). Well why would I write about this hmm? Maybe it’s the fact this guy is my hero he is what I want to be someone who will just chop off a finger and keep going. I am thinking about calling the hospital where he had the surgery and asking if I can have his finger. Is that insane? I sure hope so. What am I going to do with this finger? Well let’s see I could put it on my head and say I am a unicorn. I could also Mount it and put it on my cars dashboard. But what I WILL do if I get it is every morning for breakfast I will take my cheese shredder and shred off a little bit of his finger onto my food.



Rejoice I have found an insane mind

Well that wasnt fun

Well I lost my internet and wow what a fun story that was.


It all started some weeks ago when the voices said hey look at those wires behind the computer they look yummy you should eat them. Well they did look yummy so I ate them wow bad idea I was knocked out for like 5 hours from the shock. Because I lost the internet I decided I was going to change from dial up (I know it sucks monkey balls) to road runner (yes it kicks ass) and now that I have it its great but there was a problem.


Someone forgot to tell me that answering the door with a shotgun makes the cable guy run away well that’s what happened and wow that sucked I have never been so lost without my internet it is so hard to follow my sports teams and what not but alas I have the internet and it kicks ass and I will now start reading your blogs once again.



Always listen to the voices.

A little problem

Um supposedly its not right to answer you door with a shotgun when the cable guy comes so because of that me no internet till Saturday now

HEY

Sorry that i have been gone i lost my internet but i will be back on friday saturday at the latest.

How did i lose my internet well here is some advice when the voices in your head tell you to eat the wires behind computer cause it will be fun just ignore them.