Driving age requirement

The driving age requirement should be (drum roll please)………………………..60. Yup people over 60 shouldn’t be able to drive. Why? You might ask well it’s because as people get older then get worse at driving. They drive slow they are idiots and seem like they forgot the rules of the road. So if you are 60 or older burn your license and if you know someone who is 60 or older you must take their licenses because they are a danger.



What brought this about? Well for one old people drive slow I have been over that on an earlier date. But the reason that brought this reason is the fact the other day I was driving home and this old hag was in the middle of the road steady as can be coming right toward me. I thought that she might be trying to pass the car in front of her so I prepared to stop but no she was just driving in the middle of the road and it was like she had blinders on. She was looking straight ahead no flinching and I am in my car flipping out because I am about to go in the ditch but I thought came to me why not hit her head on? Well because I don’t have money for a new car so I didn’t do that but the voices were pussies they ran away.



But the old hag just missed me and I had a reason to change my pants.

The voices (yeah they came back) and I are going to raid old peoples houses to find their licenses and maybe go through their granny panties.

OH DEER

Now I live out in the country so there are a lot of wooden areas and fields. With all the fields and what not there are a lot of deer running around and running in front of cars and so on. So how to better the lives of humans but stopping deer from destroying are cars?

Well there are a few ways that I have come up with and I think all will work well.


Idea 1. Just set the whole woods and fields on fire so the deer go someplace else. Yes farmer’s lives will be ruined but your car won’t be.



Idea 2. Everybody drives a tank. Yup if everyone drives a tank it won’t matter if a deer hits your car because you would just destroy the deer instead of the deer destroying your car. The roads will become destroyed but who cares you got a tank. (Better hope they get good gas mileage)


I had more ideas but me and the voices have to go get some gas and a match.

I CAN STILL KILL YOU

Gun control just doesn’t make that much sense to me; I mean for one it’s unconstitutional and two if people don’t have guns they will just find different ways to kill people. (Please note that I don’t not want ex criminals to have guns I am talking people who obey the law)


There are so many ways to kill people besides guns like hit and run, poison, and a knife to name a few but I will go through a list of ways to kill people that people will use when there are no more guns.


Well the first way would be to toss gas on someone run away and then throw a match at them and TA DA instant flame man and you can also roast marshmallows


Next would be the ever popular squashing. What is squashing you might ask well its simple you lead someone to a construction site and trap them in cement and then roll them over with a steamroller. And it adds that organic ingredient to your pavement.


After that one could wrap someone up in barbed wire and then roll them down a hill and then you can kill two birds with one stone, you kill the person and then you can kill a few worms too.


And last but certainly not least you bring out the chainsaw cut off the guys dick and then watch them bleed to death and with this there is also another reward you can finally give you wife that dildo she has always wanted.


If you are going to take something from this it should be the fact that no matter what people will always find ways to kill people.

NO MORE FLOODS

I don’t know why but I have had natural disasters on my mind of late and ways to stop them.

Maybe I have just felt charitable and want to make people lives easier or maybe it’s the fact that destruction calls to me oh well not important.

Anyway today’s natural disaster is floods, I know they are so freaking inconvenient and so hard to stop. But me being the kind smart ingenuous person I am have thought of ways to help against floods. (The voices didn’t help this time they are on vacation in MEXCIO)


Idea one is to put every town in a giant box when it rains so no rain can get through. I know it’s so smart, how do you stop water from flooding the roads and houses? Well you cut off the water from the roads silly. How is this possible you might ask well I am not sure but the idea is foolproof just make a giant box like structure appear out of nowhere block the rain from flooding areas and TA DA no more floods.

Idea Two Is you put a really hot like 50,000 degree light facing upward and it will just evaporate the water away it’s so simple.


And Idea Three everyone walks outside of their homes and starts drinking if you all do are part there will be no flood water left


Ok I am feeling lonely I am going to call the voices

STOP TEEN PREGNANCY

Teen pregnancy is on the rise so the voices and I wonder what the cause of it was.

I think the cause is the fact that many families are lazy and expect the schools to do all the sex education for them.

The voices being their normal weird self don’t agree with me they think the cause of so many pregnant teens is the fact that aliens abduct the girls and impregnate them with alien offspring.

Now that I think about it the voices may be right. But that’s not the point of this post; the point is how to stop this increasing trend of pregnant teens. It is so simple duct tape. You duct tape girls legs together till they are 18 or 21 depending on the state, and then problem solved no more pregnant teens.



Oh what about when they have to go to the bathroom? Well simple solution you just stick a vacuum up whatever hole you need to and suck everything out.

TA DA problem solved I swear you people need to smarten up if humans are going to advance.


Ok the voice and I are going to try out our new vacuum………………on our dog (human testing is just wrong)

Stop school violence

This has been a problem for many years and in all schools. So how does one stop the bulling and violence that goes on in schools?

Well I have an idea but the voices are being very pushy that I put their idea first and since they are giving me a migraine here it goes.


They want all students to be put in straight jackets. Yes the plan is foolproof but is it practical. I think not because how will students do their work and the bullies can still verbally attack other kids. Well the voices have an answer for each one of those questions.


How will the kids be able to write well hello that’s what a mouth is for you just stick a pen in the mouth and they are good to go.


Problem two what about verbal abuse well when classes change all the kids will be forced to be gagged.

I don’t think that would be the best learning environment so my idea is so much better and very simple.

All schools will have hall taserers which is a group of kids that roam the halls with tasers and if the see anything bad they zap the kid I know so simple.

ALL HAIL THE TASERERS

JUST BLOW THEM AWAY

With the insane amounts of hurricanes this year and I am guessing in the coming years we must come up with a way to stop them.

I have had a hard time coming up with any ideas to help this situation but the voices have had so many ideas it’s giving me a migraine (They talk loud when they get excited). Ok here are some of there ideas

Idea 1. Just nuke the hell out of the hurricane that will make them run scared right back to Africa. (In case you don’t know most hurricane storm systems start by the coast of Africa.)



Idea 2. We build a giant metal wall miles high that will just stop the hurricane right in its tracks



Idea 3. Now this one is just crazy they want to fill the hurricane with gas and they light it on fire so it’s a giant fireballish thing. I think the voices just think it would look really cool I agree.





Ok now I had come up with one idea and I think it’s the best of the rest.

My idea. A huge fan and just blow the hurricanes away its so simple right?


Well the voices and I are going shopping.

Snitch or hero?

I thought I was insane but everyone is crazy. Why you might ask because society and planted this seed in the head of most people because of mob movies. They show gangsters as good guys and witnesses as rats and a disgrace. NO the mobsters are a disgrace, any criminal is a disgrace, anyone who does something wrong is a disgrace. People who reports these criminals should be heroes, people that stand up in the face of evil should be giving the key to the city not athletes that play a game but people that stand up against what is wrong.



Me and the voices are pissed and are releasing our anger towards YOU for not being able to use your own mind


We are off to say hi to some heroes and give them a present. Anyone know where to find a couple dozen prostitutes